9.108 - Prodigal Sons [Novgorod]

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

He made a face.

"Yeah. And jI guess jI neverr notjiced that smell beforre."

Not bad in and of itself, but old engine grease, ozone, and the sweat and pheromones of a massively overcrowded crush of Jedi tended to get noticed by someone with a decent nose. He shook his head.

"Oh, uh. Ben Merrasska, thjis jis Morrgan Evanarr. Ben used to rrun pojint defense on the Wheel wjith me, uh, sometjimes."

Explaining Ben's strange relationship to the Alliance was difficult, and he grinned it away.

"Morrgan's a Jedji. Been helpjing us out on ourr sorrtjies. Bjit of a culturral exchange orr somethjing."

He looked at them, a bit awkward at these kinds of introductions.

"jI'm surre you'rre both busy. jI've got to make surre to get thjis carrgo offloaded. Whole lot of gjifts for all the good ljittle boys and gjirrls, you know."

Excusing himself, Cirr went to work with MARCUS, handling the dispensation of needed cargo to the Whaladon. Between that and repairs here and there, he didn't mind a little busy work. It was like old times in a way.

[Ben Merasska]

Cirr turned away and Ben was left with Morgan. Ben grinned awkwardly and shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. He desperately wished that he wasn't there, that he was there with Lyanie, Rafine, Kiera, or Cirr; he wanted someone familiar to ease his anxiety around the Jedi in general, which was now growing after being controllable for a good bit.

"Uh, yeah."

His words fell flat in the space, and he shifted on his feet, wondering if he should just go back to the ship and leave.

[Abarai Loki]

The trip to the Novgorod had been a pointless affair. Following their chaotic introduction, Loki and Halajiin had barely cleared the docking umbilical when they were turned away, informed by the boarding officer that the captain was already aboard the Whaladon, distributing supplies. Action VI transports were small fry in an ocean of military vessels and yet it was remarkable just how difficult it proved to locate an individual amongst their convoluted innards. In the mean time, Halajiin recieved a summons to the council chamber, and Loki had a class to teach. When he arrived in the expansive cargo bay, his gaze immediately fell upon the ordnance racks and makeshift barbell that sat undisturbed in the corner. No sign of him.

It wasn't until after his lesson was over, and the clarity of thought that came with physical activity, that it became perfectly obvious where he was going to find Cirrsseeto. And when he did, his head was buried inside an open maintenance panel on the engineering deck, tail swaying in merry distraction. Loki folded his arms.

"Captain Raurrssatta."

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

Caught with his hands in the cookie jar. His tail jerked as he backed out. Of course he couldn't resist a peek at the condition of the Action VI. He'd put plenty of man-hours into making her space capable. While he was aboard, he'd damn well sure make sure the regular Alliance apes didn't mess up all of his hard work. Still, this wasn't his job...

...wait, he knew that voice!

He backed out, rising to his full height, and his ears perked up fully as he put a face to that voice.

"Abarraji!"

His first instinct was to hug his friend, but he knew the Jedi's nature and out of respect, he stopped short, but eagerly put a hand out in greeting to the younger human.

[Abarai Loki]

"It's good to see you again, Cirr," he said, accepting the hulking hand.

Eyes gleamed approval at the impressive sight that greeted him. Cirrsseeto suited his military uniform, of course it looked smart and was a vast improvement over the ragtag attire he wore running with Sanis Prent, but more importantly it matched the man. He was a captain, and he was still rummaging around machines with the grunts. Absently, Loki wiped some of the grease transfered from their handshake onto his tunic, it didn't matter. There was a familiarity in the bounce of his ears and flick of his tail; Loki could read him, read him like he could no other, and that was comforting. It had been months since their last encounter, and that he didn't have to tilt his head quite so much to talk to him was a source of quiet pride.

"Congratulations on your promotion."

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

Cirrsseeto had learned by now to take the compliment regardless of his own misgivings of his situation, and he cracked a bewildered smile at his young friend.

"Djidn't fjigurre the Alljiance was hurrtjing badly enough forr offjicerrs to gjive me the nod, but jin forr a crredjit, jin forr a decjicrred, eh?"

It didn't bother him either way. Abarai was no fool, and didn't abide fluff. If he cared to get to the root of Cirr's real feelings on the matter, he knew how to plainly read them, with or without the force.

Quickly tidying up after the fact with a shop rag, he nodded past Loki toward the training area.

"Stjill see padawans qujick on thejirr feet, so jI know you've kept busy. How's the Orrderr been sjince jI've been away?"

[Morgan Evanar]

Cirr turned away and Ben was left with Morgan. Ben grinned awkwardly and shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. He desperately wished that he wasn't there, that he was there with Lyanie, Rafine, Kiera, or Cirr; he wanted someone familiar to ease his anxiety around the Jedi in general, which was now growing after being controllable for a good bit.

"Uh, yeah."

His words fell flat in the space, and he shifted on his feet, wondering if he should just go back to the ship and leave.

Morgan didn't understand Ben's hesitation. While he was stone-deaf to the living Force, he was a decent sabaac player.

"I'm a very odd Jedi as far as Jedi go, but that makes me more... normal. I used to be a slicer. I can't read your mind or anything like that." Morgan waved a large hand, and pulled his jacket open and pointed at the DL-44 and then let it fall back closed.

"I still carry a blaster. I fix crap. I'm a lousy mystic. I'm a guy." he explained with a shrug.

"Ration bar?" He offered, and pulled two from inside his jacket. Morgan immediately started to remove the wrapper on one of them.

[Abarai Loki]

"Stjill see padawans qujick on thejirr feet, so jI know you've kept busy. How's the Orrderr been sjince jI've been away?"

"It's growing, both in numbers and strength. We have some promising padawans, and I suspect, many more once they have been stripped of their social club mentality. That is just a matter of time."

Loki gave a curt nod, in silent agreement with himself. As a matter of principle, he shared none of his misgivings with those outside the Jedi Order. Cirrsseeto was the exception to the rule. There was, of course, after an absence of many months, much more to discuss; darker issues that demanded more privacy than a bustling engine room was able to provide. Absently, he wondered just how much Cirrsseeto knew of his old friend's treachery, and questioned the wisdom of prying a raw wound open.

But it was not a time to be haunted by gloomy thoughts, his friend was back, and he had an overflowing boil of curiosity to satisfy. Hands clasped behind his back, he became a model of attentive interest.

"Tell me about the Novgorod."

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

Cirr tried to play it off nonchalant, but what he could hide on his face he couldn't disguise in the perk of his ears or the upped tempo of his tail swish.

"Old Rrepubljic Sjienarr corrvette. Been jin serrvjice on agajin and off agajin sjince the Rrebelljion starrted. The age shows jin places, but we got a good faceljift. Morre than good."

Better put on the hyperbole in case any of this ever got back to his mother.

"Starrfjighterr grrade subljights, class pojint fjive fjive hyperrdrrjive..."

He strained to keep the smile off his face. With a cough and a slight change of topic, he succeeded.

"...of courrse, jit's not the same when you'rre not jin the engjine rroom, makjing the magjic happen. jI'm just herre to take crredjit forr someone else's worrk."

Almost to highlight his point, he noticed a stain on his duty jacket, no-doubt picked up from his brief flight of fancy among Whaladon's systems. He wet a finger tip, and tried to daub it, but there was no salvaging it from need of a wash. Little things to demonstrate how different his life had become.

He turned his attention to the happy nostalgia of Whaladon as he and his Jedi companion moved back toward the areas of the ship more crowded with students of mystical ways and such.

"Do you everr thjink about how you got herre, Abarraji?"

[Ben Merasska]

"Eh," Ben replied, accepting the bar from the giant. "Thanks."

He opened it, watching as people carried cargo and parts from the Novgorod into the Jedi ship. There wasn't much he was used to doing without someone he knew, and he didn't want to be rude to Morgan, who seemed nice enough. The fact he used a blaster did a bit to calm the Alderaani pilot though, which surprised him.

"Cirr mentioned a cultural exchange?" he asked, unable to think of anything else. What would he and a Jedi have in common? "What do you do?"

He was still awkward when it came to meeting new people, that was for sure.

[Morgan Evanar]

"Whatever needs to be done, I guess." Morgan said, and realized it was a crappy answer. Ben gave him an appropriately blank look. He briefly contemplated his role with the Jedi. From what he understood, most of the younger Padawans were now receiving a more traditional education from other Jedi who remembered the older ways. He took another bite.

"Right now I'm Cirr's E-War specialist, but I'm a good engineer, a fair pilot, and a damn good speeder driver. The lack of ground and gravity doesn't sit well with me." Morgan continued to consume the ration bar. He watched Ben, and while his reactions were guarded and subtle, but he did react to piloting.

"And a slicer. I'm an excellent slicer, but I think I already said that. You a pilot?" He asked with curiosity. Space flying required a touch he just lacked, so he got by on knowledge and reflexes.

[Ben Merasska]

"Yep," he said; drifting into talk about piloting was something of a show of release, as Ben's body language relaxed. "I fly a WR-542, called the Skipper."

He winced, taking another bite of the ration bar.

"Horrible name, but I haven't had a chance to name her, and I don't have a clue. Bad mojo to have a nameless ship too, so it's still Skipper. You wouldn't happen to know any good names, would you?"

Talking about the ship had done more than anything to take Ben's mind off the fact that the man he was speaking with was a Jedi. They still made him uncomfortable, and he had a hard time pinning down why.

[Siyndacha Aerin]

So seemingly confident, Siyndacha Aerin had set out from her still-new companions to explore what was her new home, all on her lonesome. Mere moments later, she was broadsided by the fact that there were way more people milling about than she thought there would be, which caused an unordinarily fast bout of backpedaling and swift turning-heel to head back in the direction from whence she came.

That is, until she realized that, oh yes, there was no-one on the Skipper. It was not of any great deal of consequence, anyway, and thus she simply continued moving, scanning the area for one of the… oh yes, four very recently familiar faces she had - with little deliberation – accepted into her ‘circle’ of anxiety-free. Resolving herself to a smile once again, the white-blonde pixie girl moved along with the faintest of a skip in her step, scanning every grouping of people until she came across Ben ad some supertall (and, if she could admit it without turning phenomenally pink in the face, he was also handsome) guy, who looked to be very much in what looked to be (by Ben’s facial expression) a somewhat awkward, uneasy conversation. With a good-looking man which was a thing that would surely only make her awkward as Ben most definitely didn’t strike her as interested in that. It made her wonder what made Ben so uneasy around that guy and around this place in general.

It would probably be in my best interests to leave that alone.

Moving on, her eyes settled on an unfamiliar, a bot, a familiar (Cirr) and…

A bot? Waitaminute.

(This interaction continues in Not-Quite-A-Jedi Girl and the SUPER NEATO BOT!)

[Morgan Evanar]

"Fast ship." Morgan nodded in approval. WR-542 Shooting Stars were starting to pop up in decent numbers in the Rebellion. Some Stars were used as couriers and emergency cargo transports. But others, because of the decent cargo hold and power plant, plus room for 4, they made a surprisingly effective platform for medium to long range recon.

"I might be able to think of some good names. It's an in-person thing, though. They're all a little different. Kinda get a feel for it. I'd love to have a look and see if there is a better name for her. Or him."

[Abarai Loki]

"Do you everr thjink about how you got herre, Abarraji?"

"No," he answered, almost biting off the end of the question in his haste, "It was a sordid affair. The whole ordeal was nothing short of contemptible. What matters is the result."

While Loki had been quick to dispel the waft of nostalgia that clung to the question, he realised there was something about the simplicity of it that smacked of weightier implications. Cirrsseeto had something on his mind. This fresh mystery granted Loki the means to escape the mental quagmire of memories into which he'd just worked himself. Curiosity took flight, and then, in parsing unspoken words, deflated with a sigh.

"I sense our conversation is about to broach the metaphysical. Cirr, you know my opinion regarding notions of fate. My being here is no accident. If I hadn't found the Jedi by now, I'd still be looking for them."

Silence, and a stubborn one at that, put parsecs between them. Wearily, Loki surrendered.

"Go on, then."

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

"jI've neverr doubted that we'rre dojing the rrjight thjing, worrkjing wjith the Alljiance. Even beforre we made jit offjicjial, Sanjis and jI..."

The Captain paused, watching a few Padawans go through a series of katas.

"...well, yeah. But puttjing on the unjiforrm, therre's morre to jit than just havjing yourr hearrt jin the rrjight place, you know?"

He exhaled slowly, looking at his feet as he struggled to find his words.

"jI've been a Captajin forr two months now, and jI stjill don't know what to make of that."

Cirr's eyes met Loki's again.

"When djid you know you werre rready to teach and lead?"

[Abarai Loki]

"I didn't," he said, but it was clear from the clench of confusion in his face that he was wrestling with the question, "For me, it was never a matter of being ready. I came to the Wheel with the intent to pass on my knowledge and skill. It was my purpose."

The hard clack of wooden training sabers, meeting in dispute, resounded in the cargo hold; it was the beating pulse of the Jedi Order. Loki watched them hard at work, familiar faces, glistening from ferocious exertion, the forging of warriors. And all the while he considered his friend's conundrum. Cirrsseeto's uncertainty was justified, it was an unconventional promotion, dressing an engineer in the clothes of a corvette captain. But it was an unconventional Alliance. Perhaps they saw in Cirrsseeto what his friends saw, what Loki saw, the great qualities and potential to which he was apparently blinkered. He nodded at the roomful of fledgling Jedi.

"This is my purpose, Cirr. I know it. I've always known it. You, on the other hand, weren't raised to be the captain of a ship. You were made a leader, and now you must learn to become a leader. Self-belief will come with experience."

[Ben Merasska]

Ben nodded, full aware of what the Jedi-giant was saying.

"Him? I know there are different ways of naming ships, but I'd only ever heard of giving them, you know... feminine attributes," he said, feeling a bit silly when putting it that way. "I got her configured for cargo transport mainly, but one section is geared up for easy conversion into passenger space. Not an easy task for a Sienar boat, but the guy who did it knows how to work on ships."

He grinned, the tension mostly gone now that he was thinking of his ship. His ship. There wasn't words for the feeling he had when the realization that he essentially had a ship came over him again, though relief and satisfaction featured heavily among them.

"I was hoping to ask Cirr too, but he ran off on me, so..." he trailed off, shrugging again.

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

Cirr understood what Abarai said. It was what Loklorien said. What Captain Terius said. Leadership was organic. You were either born into it or you developed it with experience.

The Captain leaned against a bulkhead, watching the sparring, and letting it carry his mind off to faraway places.

"jIf you asked me what kjind of engjineerr jI am, jI'd tell you jI'm the best. jI study harrd. jI know theorry and appljied mechanjics. jI've put jin thousands of man hourrs on jit. When they gave me a commjissjion..."

Cirr crossed his arms, continuing.

"...same prrocess. jI studjied naval doctrrjine. jI took to rreadjing hjistorrjical combat studjies. jI learrned everrythjing about my shjip and about my crrew. jI can tell you all of thejirr names, Abarraji. Everry last one of them and therre arre two hundrred and fourrteen."

He sighed.

"Tjimes ljike thjis? jI feel ljike therres somethjing jI'm mjissjing. Somethjing jI'm not dojing. When jit's qujiet."

[Abarai Loki]

"Then you are not complacent. That is a good thing. It will keep you sharp."

It came as no surprise to Loki that Cirrsseeto carried the burden of leadership with trademark humility, it was an invaluable quality for someone in his position. And that he'd taken the time to learn the names of his crew suggested that, as their captain, he knew the cost of his mistakes. It was telling. While, on the surface, Cirrsseeto was an imposing figure, he was also the most compassionate and conscientious man Loki had ever met. Two hundred and fourteen men and women. His brow creased in thought.

"To be a strong leader requires more than just knowledge and skill. Leadership is about the quality of a man. It is about the strength of your convictions, Cirrsseeto. Because, one day, you will be faced with a decision only you can make; you will make it fast, and it will change lives. And it is a responsibility from which no amount of study will provide refuge."