Elenor

[Senator Prent]

Thepsis

"Hold my holos."

It was harder as a Senator to just get away from it all. I'd finally gotten ensnared by all the obligations I'd spent a lifetime trying to get out of, or thinking I was too good for. Maybe I'd gotten slow. Maybe I liked soft living more than I should. Either way, I'd dropped out of light speed decades ago. Gotten older. Gotten wealthier too, that was nice. Thought that would solve all my problems. And honestly, it solved a lot of them. Not worrying about whether my ship had enough fuel to go from point A to point B. Not having to worry about getting shot over a bad game of Sabacc. All nice things.

I'd even gotten slow enough to commit the most cardinal of all sins of my younger self. I'd gotten married. Elenor Antillies. She had money, but by then so did I. She was pretty, but not too pretty. After all, I'd been burned by a beautiful face more than once. She definitely didn't put up with my bullshit, so once I'd run out of all the usual excuses, what choice did I have? I eventually had to marry her. Had to love her. Had to have a kid with her. That was a tough sell to a guy who'd spent his life only really loving himself, and even that relationship was touch and go. Elenor Antillies snared me just as surely as Sasseeri Reeouurra once did, although the noose was infinitely more comfortable.

"Senator, we're here."

I looked up from my comfortable introspection. Huh. We were already on the ground. Damned luxury shuttles. No inertial tells. No juddering. Sometimes I missed flying in ships where you could tell your speed by the vibration in your spine. It wasn't comfortable, but it wasn't numb either.

"Thanks Jaxon."

I eased aside the recently-departed remains of my Corellian whisky, and righted myself to my feet. Little things I never used to do now ran on autopilot. Hair, coiffed. Tie, cinched. I caught a glimpse of myself in faint reflection out the window. The only thing that never seemed to change about me were my eyes. Turning back to my aide, I noticed the parcel under his arm.

"Is that it?"

"Like you ordered, sir."

Smiling never came hard for me, even when I didn't mean it. It was good for the public, after all. The parcel changed hands.

"I let the house know you'll be staying the weekend."

The smile diminished a little, and like an idiot, I blurted "How did you..."

"I know what day it is, sir."

Oh.

There was a look. Unguarded, but quickly smoothed over.

"Make sure the committee knows..."

"...it's already taken care of, sir."

Oh.

What kind of fool was I? Of course Jaxon knew that. He shifted on his feet, and I coughed into my hand.

"Right. Right."

Turning back to the window, my resolve fell a little more, but I swallowed it down. Why did I keep doing this? Jaxon closed the distance, and I felt the parcel pushed under my arm.

"Go, sir."

So I did. I shook the lead out of my feet and debarked, stepping into a perfect day. There weren't any shortages of those on Thepsis. Mid-seventies, sunny. The trees and the grass as green as green could get in the galaxy. It was rare that a day fell on Thepsis that wasn't good for a walk, so I took one. Down the trail I knew well. Past the Balo trees. The fountain of the Hospitaler. I'd never had a home in my life (Nar Shaddaa sure as hell didn't count), so Elenor insisted I borrow hers. Her ancestral home. Was it ten generations of Antillies that lived here? Twenty? I never quite fit in, but at the same time, the damned place tried its damnedest to make sure I did.

I took my time. They say its not the age, it's the mileage, but when you've got 65 years and the odometer's rolling over, you sometimes change your habits. No more glitterstim. Constitutionals were my new drug. I probably couldn't walk 200 meters without breathing heavy in my heady days of self-abuse. Now? Five kilometers a go, almost daily. Sure, there was creaking here and there, but it just reminded me of where I was going. Sometimes I'd take a break. Lean against a trunk of a Balo tree. Watch a dozen kids on the quad play a pickup game of smashball. A far cry from hitting tin cans with rebar in the Vertical City.

Still, I wasn't here to envy the young. I pushed on. Still a ways to go. The rest of the way was a hill. It took me fifteen minutes to get up to the top, and by that point, I had to catch my breath. Strategically-placed Balo trees once again saved the day. It also helped me to gather my resolve.

Just a few more steps to go.

Once again, they were heavy. I stared at her, an unguarded face full of emotions. She always waited for me here. Her and the boy. My boy. They were the dependable ones.

"Hey there."

The parcel under my arm felt heavy. I held it with both hands.

"I'm late, I know. Hell back at the office, what can I say?"

They let me do all the talking. I guess that was the nature of our family outings.

"I talked to your mom. She's doing alright. Still insists on the blue hair look, and nobody can talk her out of it. She knew I was coming, and told me to tell you she loves you both."

Turning my attention away from them, I looked down at the box, my clumsy fingers tugging at the ribbon that bound it.

"I got you both something. Same as always, so I guess the surprise is out. Heh. I gave up trying to surprise you. You always know what I'm up to anyway.

And even then, you always forgave me."

My voice was breaking, and I could feel the heat in the corner of my eyes. I kept my eyes down on the box, willing my hands to work.

"I wish you could teach me how to forgive myself. I can't count up the days, hours, or minutes I wasted. I should have given them all to you both, instead of..."

I shook the parcel for emphasis, closing my eyes tightly.

"You two drug me kicking and screaming to learn how to be a better man, and I've tried, Elenor. I've tried, Jac. Maybe it's the right thing to do and I'm sure it is, but it was for you. Everything.

Even when it comes a day late."

A sigh rattled out of my bones, and I hung my head. A tear fell onto the parcel with a faint pat.

"I'm tired. I've had a good run, and better than I deserve, but I'm tired of it Elenor. I can fake the smiles for a while, but soon I'll be tired of that too. I want to come home. I want you to tell me what to do, because what do I do anymore? I had it all figured out before you two."

Finally, the ribbon gave way. I opened the box with the reverie of some outer rim high priest of some dead religion, pulling the cluster of flowers from within. Seven for Elenor, and one for Jac. It had been the same for the past twenty years.

Elenor Antillies Prent

Jac Ledo Prent

May the light within you outshine the stars

"I love you Elenor. I love you Jac."

Careful hands closed the now empty box.

"I hope that somewhere, you know."