The Dragon Void Run

[Acheli San Maronea]

The hatch sealed with a clank as the Quasar linked up with the service cruiser. A few seconds later, the air hissed as the hatches opened. A team of medics and engineers entered. Maron waved them off gently.

"Take care of my ship."

Paw around Freddie's shoulder, she looked to him and nodded.

"Any race you can walk away from, kid. That's a good race."

An hour later

It took some pushing with her agent, but Maron got a little time between the finish and the inevitable press conference. That was enough time to hit the sonic showers and change into a clean jumpsuit. More importantly, it was enough time for Freddie, hopefully. She sat with her mechanic in the pilot's billet on the race hub station. There was a little privacy here. Once they passed through the doors, that would be gone.

"Here."

Maron tossed Freddie a bottle of electrolyte water as she took the seat opposite the Nehantite. Opening a bottle for herself, the pilot took a few thirsty gulps, then sighed.

"I need to know what you're feeling."

[Fredal Rabeak]

"Right now, I'm feeling pretty stupid," Freddie sighed.

A breath of clean, fresh air lifted his shoulders before they slumped again. Gone was the smell of soot and melted wiring, replaced by de-scented recirculated air, laundry detergent from his own fresh jumpsuit, and the sharp, almost metallic taste of a few ions still being released from his fur after his sonic shower. It was the shower that had done him the most good. Private, well-lit, clean. Freddie had focused upon the sound of the emitters, hearing only them until his mind could calm itself once more. Fingertips fumbled on the cap of his water bottle until at last it popped open, and he tipped back a few swigs before he could look his captain in the eye.

"You said any race you can walk away from is a good race," Freddie stated. "Well, I had a race I didn't walk away from. It was bad - real bad."

Biting his lower lip, the boy had to look down again, eyes closing as the memories came back once again, but this time he didn't panic. "I was thirteen, barely. I'd built a speeder bike out of... well, basically whatever I could get my paws on at the junkyard. It was overpowered. Not like a little, but deadly overpowered, and I was too young and stupid to realize it, so of course I took it out for a run, then a high-speed run. It went well at first, but then it overloaded. I don't even know how fast I was going, I'd exceeded the speedometer I was using, and the bike caught fire, and it dropped. Me with it. The crash was spread over about three hundred meters, and I was sprayed with fuel on the first impact. It ignited when I was scraped along the ground, because I couldn't get free of the bike until it began to flip, and I was thrown."

The boy paused there, eyes shut tight, toes curled in as well as he tried not to squirm. "The fuel kept burning. My head and my paws were saved because of a helmet and gloves, but my back, my arms, and some other parts of me kept burning. I broke... a lot of bones. Arm, both legs, back, my tail, ribs, you name it. Concussion pretty bad. But I could see it. I could see it and smell it, the smoke, the fire, the twisted wreckage. The smell of my own fur and flesh burning. And I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to get away from it, to be safe, but I couldn't move. The doctors said the paramedics told them I was screaming until I passed out from the pain. I spent several months in the hospital, after that, and my dad brought me home before I should have been discharged, because he thought I was being lazy.

"I nearly died, and he thought I was being lazy. That absolute piece of..." Freddie stopped himself, forcing a deep breath before he could finally look up again.

Another drink, and his toes began to uncurl. "I don't pilot anymore. I can't. I - I just can't. I panic, and I can't. So I turned to just being an engineer, a designer. I got a buddy of mine to be my new pilot, and he did all our runs from then on. We were good. I was good. Then he stole what I'd built, said it was his own, and joined up with a bigger outfit. So I left, and now I'm here, working for you." He reached up to hold his muzzle, pulling and rubbing at it as he fought back the fear of rejection he was already starting to let in. "And you just saw me have a panic attack, because I was surrounded by smoke and fire, and all I could think of, all I could feel, was that crash. I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth before. But I knew you'd never hire me if you knew, and I needed this job so bad!"

By the end, his lip was trembling, despite his best attempts to hide it.

You're so fired. What were you thinking, imagining that some trailer trash nothing like you could play at this level? His mind told him.

[Acheli San Maronea]

It was a heavy, earnest revelation. For her part, Maron listened patiently. She had at least a few minutes to do so - and more if she pushed back if her agent came running.

"Confronting your fear is an important part of racing, but most importantly, it's an important part of living. I've met a lot of people in this career. Most, I haven't gotten the chance to know, but the ones that I do get to know, they all have something they face."

Maron set aside her electrolyte water.

"For me? I'm afraid of failure. My family, they rely on the purse money I win. It goes to buy food, power converters, medicine, everything they need. While I can go on a streak of losing a few races, if its a long one, there might not be enough to make ends meet. So I'm always racing to stay at least one race ahead of that reality."

Her whiskers buoyed.

"That's a feeling that doesn't go away. I always feel that fear, sometimes more than other times, but I'm not suddenly over it. The best I can do is to regiment myself, give myself time to work, and allow myself time to feel."

She draped a broad paw across one of Freddie's knees.

"You told me that you need this job. I need a good mechanic to keep my edge, so I can look after my family. It sounds like we need each other. So I think you need to consider the best way to confront your fear."

[Fredal Rabeak]

Confront your fear. Face your fear. Overcome your fear. Learn from your fear so you need never fear it again.

They were words he had been told over and over, sometimes be those who meant well, but often by those who had made him fearful in the first place. To Freddie, fear was a thing you ran from, so it could not catch you, could not hurt you again. Confrontation got him hurt. Facing it got him slapped down. Overcoming it wound up with his face in the dirt. And learning from it? All he had ever learned was how to try and doge it. Fear could not be overcome. Fear was always, it was constant, it would hunt you down if you did not cover your tracks and hide. Fear was a thing that others thought they felt, but didn't truly know.

But Maron feared as well? His eyes came back up. Her words passed into his brain, where years of anguish attempted to comprehend them. She feared for her family and loved ones, instead of living in fear of them. It was a concept he thought existed only in holovision shows, and old books; a notion he had never known, himself. And yet he was faced with a dilemma: if she cared for him as her mechanic, did she fear for his safety as well?

Then the paw came to rest upon his knee, and the boy stiffened while recoiling slightly. "I'll... I'll do my best," Freddie nodded. His knees drew closer together as he eased back a bit, sheepishly stating, "I... I don't like being touched, Captain." Like a puppy who had once been kicked by someone, he wanted to trust her wholeheartedly, yet the damage had already been done.

"We should probably be getting out there. I bet the press is getting antsy." He at least attempted a smile. If he could not overcome his fear, at least he could put on a brave face as best he knew how.

[Acheli San Maronea]

Maron retrieved her paw without protest, rising from her seat.

"Are you ready for this? When you step out of this door, everyone is going to know your name. Your life will be different. It may be for the better or for the worse, but you can't undo it."

The Selonian rolled her shoulders, cinching down her jacket over her long torso.

"I can keep the spotlight off of you, if you want. But if you really want the galaxy to see your brilliance, just follow me."

[Fredal Rabeak]

Freddie looked to the doorway, caught between fight and flight. On the other side lay everything he ever wanted: fame, recognition, possibly lucrative licensing deals, and perhaps even some cute girls. He would be one of the youngest race engineers out there to have ever served on a premier level team, and he'd show everyone that he was important. That he had value.

But it would strip him of anonymity, and thrust him into spotlights he wasn't sure if he could handle. And even worse, his dad would know where he was. Know how to find him.

For a moment, he simply looked at Maron, pulled in each direction. Just as his shoulders began to sink, a spark of bravery shot through his heart, and the boy stood, nodding. "Let's do this. Together."

If it were a question of what to say, he'd call back to the countless speeches and press conferences of racers he'd watched as a boy. Or he'd just wing it. The surge of endorphins racing through his system were prepared to make anything possible, bringing a smile to his face. In one final check, he glanced in the mirror to make sure his headfur was right. After all, there might be cute girls out there, and if he could manage to safely boost a starship through a star's outer corona, he just might have a shot at saying hi to a girl.

[Acheli San Maronea]

The splayed whiskers on Maron's muzzle showed she was glad that Freddie had decided to face the galaxy. She gave him a single nod.

"Alright. Let's go."

* * *

The walk down the hallway had been a dress rehearsal. There were a few staff members and the occasional member of the press without a conference room pass. They pressed Maron close, shoving holorecorders and microphones at her to get a few shots and - if they were lucky - a soundbyte. Maron politely breezed past them, careful to walk tandem with Freddie so he didn't get separated from the protection of her deference.

When the arrived in the conference room, the pulsing sound of holographic shutters and flashes created a fantastic sort of ambiance. Maron led with a gesture, allowing Freddie to take point up the right aisle towards the dais. The crews of the other top two racers were already there, but their moods were understandably ambivalent. As a racer, placing second earned you a sleepless night of what ifs.

[Fredal Rabeak]

Spots of purple and flickering yellow flashed in Freddie's vision from just his trip down the hallway, and he staggered in his first step as a barrage of flashes bombarded him. Pink eyes squinting at first, his face flinching, he Nehantite was tempted to raise a paw to shield his eyes from it all, then remembered just what the flashes were.

They were the press. Fans. The media. And they were taking pictures of him. Well, not just him, mostly of Maron, but still he was going to be in them! He was going to be in them, representing the Quasar Fantastic!

A forced smile tried to cover his initial flinch, and he straightened his jumpsuit while putting his best foot forward. Within a few steps, the fake smile blossomed into a real one as cheers went up from the crowd. A few cameras got waves and direct smiles, but overall he knew his job was not to take the limelight, but instead warm it up for Maron. After all, everyone at home knew who the pilots were, and very few cared about co-pilots - even fewer gave a second thought to an engineer like himself. But still, if he was going to be allowed to bask, then bask he would, all the way up to the dais, where he stood neatly, giving Maron plenty of room.

He'd made it. He was a winner.

Wait, what was he supposed to do next?