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Thread: College Football

  1. #1
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    Sports College Football 2011, talking about our bad teams, probation, and superconferences

    So, I'm aghast that we haven't had a college football thread so far and we're three weeks into the season.

    Major points:
    • Da U has committed enough NCAA sanctions in the past decade to make even Da U from the 80's and 90's blush. Possible punishment from the NCAA ranges from absolutely nothing to every first born son in Miami-Dade county being beheaded. Also I'm sure there will be another six totally badass documentaries made about it with new soundtracks by Uncle Luke. Can't wait.
    • Ohio State also did bad stuff but nobody cares because we hate Ohio State and all of their fans are pedophiles.
    • Auburn stole a championship like Cam Newton stole a laptop. That's fine I guess because they look like poop this year and lost to Clemson lmao.
    • Boise State is still a garbage team, and scheduling one good team per year proves nothing.
    • Texas A&M is seceding from the Big XII, potentially triggering world war 3 in conference realignment. This is good because everybody hates Texas but it's bad because A&M is a doo doo team full of nut grabbing fake army cultists and I really do not want them in the SEC but I guess it's gonna happen anyway, providing Ken Starr fails at his whole "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" schtick.
    • In the dead of night last night, the ACC calmly assassinated the Big East and stole Pitt and Syracuse, which is likely to only accelerate other conferences raiding the weak and picking their bones. Hopefully the SEC gets West Virginia out of this.
    • Notre Dame still bad. Remember Catholics, faith alone is not enough for football relevance. You need faith and good works, like being able to recruit actual talent. Joining the Big 10 (12?) would help, but it's easier at this rate to turn water into wine.
    • Oregon is being investigated by the NCAA. This is likely due to the NCAA seeing Oregon driving at 15 mph in a 60 mph zone, asking them to roll down their window, and instantly catching a contact.
    • Minnesota's coach Jerry Kill was so shocked that his bad team lost to perennially bad team parriah New Mexico State, that he had a seizure on the field. Gopher fans still unaware that they are cursed by a vengeful football God.


    Lets talk about football. Trolling makes things better. I hate your team, and I hate you. Discuss.

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    So Crimson Tide won their first 3 games? The universe is in balance.

    I can't wait for the crazy people rooting for other teams to post, so I can laugh at them.



  3. #3
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    Indeed

    Although two of those wins are against cupcake teams, so we'll have a better look at the shape of the team next week. We've got a strong strong strong defense (especially the secondary OMG) but our offense needs better strength and discipline on the line and we need to sort out some quarterback questions. We look like LSU's twin this year for all practical purposes, so that game is going to be huge later this year.

    Rammer Jammer, et all

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    The only interesting aspect of the season thus far is the realignment shuffle continuing. Looking more and more like we'll end up with four 16-team super conferences (SEC, ACC, Pac-16, Big Ten + 6).

    It's been reaffirmed that the NCAA is completely inept, and that's honestly their own damn fault. Time to burn the rulebook and start over.

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    Yeah that's definitely dominating the narrative. I mean we have some good teams and good performances but nothing's really been trending as much as the politics, which is kinda bad but then again this is a long time in coming.

    The interesting thing about the probations and the alignment issue is how interconnected they are. The NCAA has to enforce its rules or they look inept, but if they enforce them with any consistency, the schools balk at the potentially dire financial consequences they'll face if and when that hammer eventually lands on them (and it will, it always will).

    Something strange and Byzantine about all of this.

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    We beat Ohio State.

    It is nice to have a coach with a brain. It is also nice to have a secondary again. Can't wait till we get a non-scrub QB who can actually put some spicy mustard on the ball and not suck in general. Lamar Miller, barring tragic injury, is gonna play on Sunday.

    Gators beat Tennessee, which is good. I am less Gator Hatin' because they finally scheduled us. Hey, we only had to be bad for 8 years for it to happen.

    In the dead of night last night, the ACC calmly assassinated the Big East and stole Pitt and Syracuse, which is likely to only accelerate other conferences raiding the weak and picking their bones. Hopefully the SEC gets West Virginia out of this.
    WV going to the SEC or ACC would be cool. NCAA can burn for all I care.

    Also it is apparently ok for a pair of Sooners to straight up gang helmet to helmet a dude. You stay classy OK.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Evanar View Post
    We beat Ohio State.
    2011 Inelligibowl champions!

    It is nice to have a coach with a brain. It is also nice to have a secondary again. Can't wait till we get a non-scrub QB who can actually put some spicy mustard on the ball and not suck in general. Lamar Miller, barring tragic injury, is gonna play on Sunday.
    Golden is a good fit for Miami and I really hope he stays, despite getting shat on by Donna Shalalah. He's a good guy. Also Jacory isn't bad as much as he is just really inconsistent. He knows how to be good, he just is refusing to do so lately for some reason.

    Gators beat Tennessee, which is good. I am less Gator Hatin' because they finally scheduled us. Hey, we only had to be bad for 8 years for it to happen.
    Well yes and to hell with Tennessee always.

    Am I bad for hoping there's a big brawl during the UF/UM game?

    Also it is apparently ok for a pair of Sooners to straight up gang helmet to helmet a dude. You stay classy OK.
    I've been watching websites for irony-laden op-ed's and postings about FSU and "thugs" (dog whistle politics in my football?!)

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    hmm... interestingly enough, I believe I will running around doing tech support at the Utah - Oregon State game on the 29th.
    Last edited by Mu Satach; Sep 24th, 2011 at 02:42:08 AM.

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    So today we roasted, tore apart, and devoured a whole pig.

    Oh and also I guess we had some barbecue while we watched that happen.

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    Texas A&M Imploded during the 2nd half of their game today which was ugly to watch. Gators blew away their opponents today, no big suprise since they have a fairly easy schedule this year, or so it has been said. The Noles lost another 'bout with their QB out. I really don't watch enough College Football to talk about or like any other teams.

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    Why do you follow Aggy? That worries me.

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    None of my teams are really in the hunt for much, unless you count conference berths. The gasping of the Big Twelve does leave me a little uneasy about Texas Tech's future, but I keep hearing them bundled with Texas, Oklahoma, and Oklahoma State in the alleged exodus to the Pac-16. Of course, then I keep hearing the Pac-12 saying they don't want to expand and Texas saying they want to keep the Big Twelve together. It seems the story changes every day now, so I've pretty much stopped paying attention.

    I have very little idea how good Texas Tech actually is this season, but early indications seem to be they're about where they were last season - middling, with spikes to impressive. They easily disposed of New Mexico last week, which is nothing to brag about, but QB Seth Doege going 40 for 44 under any circumstances is pretty awesome. Then this week they had an ugly, ugly defensive performance at home against Nevada, giving up over 550 yards and over 300 on the ground, but they still managed a go-ahead TD in the final minute to win 35-34. That's Red Raider football, all right.

    I don't have any illusions of Texas Tech being a conference title contender this year, but I like that they're the only member of the Big Twelve that's never posted a losing record during the conference's existence.

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    Texas Tech, with the possible exception of Oklahoma, is the only Big XII program I don't want shanked and thrown into a dumpster, even if y'all do have Tommy Tuberville.

    Basically I would be okay with them having a bizarro year where they run the table, win the BCS, then literally the whole team busts into the Sportscenter sound stage, snatches Craig James, and throws his beaten body off the Tarpeian rock.

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    TheHolo.Net Poster

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    Also in what can only be described as a cruel shortening of Jerry Kill's life expectancy by another decade, Minnesota loses to football powerhouse North Dakota State.

    I...just...

    ...well done.

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    Fuck Yeah!

    Go Gophers!
















    Wait...

















    Shit...














    At least CU isn't too bad!














    Wait...















    God dammit.

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    We laid an egg again ugh ugh ugh.


    Quote Originally Posted by Karl Valten View Post
    Fuck Yeah!

    Go Gophers!

    Wait...

    Shit...

    At least CU isn't too bad!


    Wait...

    God dammit.
    You poor bastard.

  18. #18
    TheHolo.Net Poster

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    Miami broke my heart

    Quote Originally Posted by Karl Valten View Post
    Fuck Yeah!

    God dammit.
    To be fair you've been in Colorado long enough to get high enough not to care, or at least that's what is expected of you.

    I mean at least you'll probably beat the washington teams now that you're a black sheep in the PAC-12. At least Wazzu. Probably.

  19. #19
    TheHolo.Net Poster

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    Josh you didn't write this did you?

    The Kessel, 19 November 1942 - 31 January 1943

    givetheballtodarrell,
    1. As I have sadly stated in a previous post, in the annals of NCAA Division 1A athletic directors, Joel Maturi’s leadership, decision making, and stewardship of the University of Minnesota revenue sports programs begs comparison and runs parallel with Herr GeneralfeldMarschall Friedrich Wilhelm Ernst Paulus’ leadership, decision making, and stewardship of the much vaunted German Sixth Army.
    2. Paulus suffered from fatal character flaws. His unwillingness or inability to defy Hitler’s idiotic orders to attack Stalingrad prematurely was then followed with an even weaker display of character through failing to protect his remaining troops in The Kessel (19 November 1942 – 31 January 1943) by breaking out of the Kessel. It meant defying Hitler’s idiotic order to hold Stalingrad at all cost. The result was total decimation of the German Sixth Army, which started out with some 300,000 troops of which only 6,000 survived the war.
    3. In the case of the University of Minnesota Department of Intercollegiate Athletics (or whatever they are called today), it matters little whether the idiotic order to fire Glen Mason came from Robert Bruininks, The Regents of the University of Minnesota, or whether this was a brain f@rt specially conjured up by Joel Maturi himself. What matters are the results. The results remind me of dropping ordnance on our own troops and killing them through “friendly fire.” We fragged ourselves through this horrible display of leadership.
    4. Paulus likely would have been courts martialed by Hitler and probably executed for breaking out of “The Kessel,” but he would have saved tens of thousands of good German soldiers. A good leader puts the interests of those under his / her charge ahead of his / her own personal interests. In Paulus’ case, he made two bad decisions, the first agreeing to prematurely attack Stalingrad, followed by an even worse one which would seal the fate of the German Sixth Army.
    5. Our 37 – 24 loss last night is another monument to Joel Maturi’s horrible decision making, and his failure to hold himself accountable for the irreparable damage he has perpetrated on University of Minnesota revenue sports. If Robert Bruininks or The Regents of the University of Minnesota ordered Joel Maturi to fire Glen Mason, then Joel should have had the character to stand up to them, refuse the order, and tender his own resignation in protest. If the decision to fire Glen Mason was Joel Maturi’s and Joel’s alone, he should have resigned before he fired Tim Brewster, in acknowledgement of his own personal mistakes. He did neither.
    6. I don’t blame Tim Brewster like other people on this board do. He took the opportunity to earn 7 figures Joel handed him on a silver platter. Tim did not make a decision to be a poor football coach. He made a decision to become a millionaire.
    7. Thank God Joel did not go through ROTC at Notre Dame and did not lead men in battle in Vietnam.


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    SKI-U-MAH!
    ...did you???

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    Why do you follow Aggy? That worries me.
    As I said, I don't watch much College Football, so I'm mainly in it for family support, then friend support. My aunt lives in Houston, and both of my cousins from that family went to Texas A&M for College.

    Josh you didn't write this did you?
    You're referring to Mr Imo, right?


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