Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Hotties

[Nen Lev'i]

I hated mornings.

Actually, that's not true. I hate mornings, present tense. They're stupid, idiotic, and I never could get the hang of 'em. I mean, what are they for? Only annoying and awkward things ever happen in the mornings. There's waking up. There's waking up, and realising that you're not in your own bed, leaving you to rummage around wherever you are trying to suss out where the frell your pants are.

Worse, there's waking up, and realising that you are in your own bed, but so is someone else; and then you have that akwardness of not being able to get on with anything until they've gone, and then they expect you to hug, or talk, or act like you give a katarn's ass about their name; and worse, they always seem to raid your chill unit, and eat the last of everything. I mean, seriously. Who does that? Who goes into a guy's house, chows their way through all of his munchables, and then has the nerve to wander through - wearing nothing but your shirt, no less - and casually say "I think you're out of -"

You don't think I'm out of anything. You know I'm out of it, because you finished the last of it. Now shut up, frak off, and buy me some more munchables. Stupid bint.

Hmm. Munchables sounds dirty, if you say it right. Hello there; would you like a mouthful of my munchables?

I am so using that.

Anyway. I was bitching about mornings, weren't I? They suck worse than a randy mynock, and this morning was no exception. My head felt like some idiot kids in snubfighters had flown in through my ear, and shot a few missiles into my brain, causing an explosion that shattered my skull and reigned fiery, burning chunks of my awesome face and brain on the unsuspecting native population of the planet below.

But still, I thought I was handling it well. I was actually out of bed, which like, never happens, and I was even dressed. Well. Sort of. I was wearing pants, which was pretty much as closed to dressed as I was likely to get, this side of sunset. I was wandering around, downing namara juice - out of the carton, because I'm just that kind of classy guy - because I read somewhere that it restores your protassian levels, or some dren like that.

Basically, I was doing well. I had grabbed the morning by the waist, and was busily pounding it into submission. I had made this morning my bitch.

Then, there was a knock at the door.

Now, you guys are probably thinking: "Hey, what's so unusual about that," right? That's because you probably live in some nice, comfortable place, where the guy knocking on your door is the mail man, or the blue milk man, or some crazy religous guy who wants you to read through some literature about how their faith is based on some guys who might possibly have witnessed a guy, or something.

I don't. I live on Nar Shaddaa. If someone knocks on your door at this time in the morning, odds are it's the mob, and they probably want to shoot - or in some other way violently mishandle - your ass.

Thing is, with it being a morning and all, I wasn't exactly in my finest state of mental clarity, so I sorta forgot that kind of common sense thing. Forgot to stop by my desk on the way to the door, to grab my blaster. Hell, I didn't think to stop and grab a shirt.

"Comin'!" I groaned, padding barefoot around the cold, durasteel floor that pretty much ran the whole way from my bed to the bathroom, because the architect who designed my appartment is a sadistic bastard.

I could barely even see, but hey. I got to the door, hit the lock, and let the thing shoom open.

Two impossibly hot chicks were standing there. I'm talking impossibly hot. Ridiculously. My brain, even at the best of times, would have been fried, and right now my brain was little flaming comets in some planetary atmosphere, remember?

Had I had any sense about me, I would have acted cool; suave; you know, like normal. But this was a morning, and like I said, I hate those. So yeah. I did the best I can."

So yeah. I stared - elsewhere from the face region, if I'm honest - and muttered; "Hot damn!"

[Irridia Solensis]

Kalail had a plan.

Of course, if she were to be honest, the woman always had a plan...and they were, if nothing else, entertaining plans.

Today's plan involved playing fetch and going to get Nen. Bless his skinny little self, the bastard was still living on Nar Shaddaa. That...would have to be rectified some day. Irridia hated the planet with a passion that almost equaled her hatred of Nal Hutta, where she'd been born.

Sea green eyes coursed over Kalail, slowly, lingering on the curve of her ass in the impossibly short skirt she was wearing. She purred and leaned over to nip at the blonde's shoulder, before straightening as the speeder came to a halt.

Right.

Nen.

Irridia slid out first, before offering Kalail a hand to help the other woman out, and received a delicious eyeful as she did. The grin seemed plastered on her plump lips as they walk arm in arm and sauntered their way up to the door of Nen's apartment. With her free hand, she smoothed out her own tiny skirt and adjusted both suspenders before lifting a hand to knock on the door.

Tilting her head, scarlet locks tumbled across her shoulder as a wicked grin lit her features. "Frak me, Nen...its not even noon...yer awake...and sorta dressed...mind if we come in?" Ri purred, her voice pitched a little lower than usual.

[Kalail Rotas]

Today was going to be a good day. She could feel it. Nar Shaddaa's weather was perfect to have the top of the speeder down, letting the warm breeze wash over Kalail and her beautiful temptress riding in the passenger seat. Of course that was partially her fault - red mini skirt that was barely legal in public offered much to behold as legs pumped the scant controls underneath the console. The black silk blouse with see-through sleeves was buttoned down enough to get a wash of air to spill over inside and chill her torso. Of course there was something else making her giddy. She had it all planned out and it was going to end in a shit ton of credits and an explosion that made her groan wantonly.

Wickedly she grinned as Ri was saddling herself closer and truth be told, if this wasn't a business meeting, she'd throw up the top and spend the next couple of hours in the back seat with her. She was feeling rather high in anticipation for tonight and she had more then an itch that needed to be scratch.

But, as stated, this was business. Kalail took that matter seriously, especially since being promoted to Vigo. Didn't mean she couldn't allow her arm to slip around Ri's waist and drop further to enjoy the curvature of her lover's ass with a squeeze.

Then Nen answered the door and she was not surprised that his eyes were plastered on well defined breasts that hugged either woman's clothing. He was a deranged character that had no manners, crass, and could do such wonderful things with toys that went boom. It was the reason he was hired.

Grabbing the side of the door, Kalail leaned forward and gave Nen a wry smile. He wasn't half bad looking, now that she had a good view of his bare chest. "We have business to discuss," and the sultry voice in which she spoke, Nen wasn't sure what sort of business needed discussing.

[Nen Lev'i]

Dear diary. Today a pyro and a porn star came to my house.

I wasn't exactly the sort of guy who ran short on confidence. Hell, I'm pretty much as arrogant as they come. But I have to admit: those two showing up - especially since it's those two, if you know what I'm sayin' - left me feeling a little flustered, especially with me being all shirtless wonder and everything.

I think I handled it well though. Kinda scratched my chest, picked my jaw off the floor, and stepped out of the way. "Sure, come in." Okay. So maybe I eyed up those mini-skirts a little as they passed me in the corridor. Not so cool - but certainly sweet.

Did I say Hot damn! already?

Letting the door slide closed - and shooting myself a quick glance in the mirror; make sure I was composed, and, uh, presentable - I followed them into the main studio room of what was probably the most awesomely tricked out gadget pad on the whole damn moon. If it's cool, and it's gadgety, I've got it. Trust me.

"So," I said, trying to sound all casual like. "Business, huh?"

[Irridia Solensis]

Ri purred as she passed Nen, sea-green eyes taking a long, lingering look even as her hand coursed over Kalail's shapely ass. Stepping away from her woman's side for a moment, she perused the long table where the man kept his variety of toys. He always had something new and interesting to play with, that was pink-

-and fuzzy?

Arching a sculpted brow, she hooked a finger into the elaborately decorated cuffs and held them up. Tiny crystal chips glittered in the light as she turned them this way and that.

"Business indeed. Boss lady over there has a proposition for you...but first, you need to tell me where you got these...pink is not your color, Nen." Irridia grinned, eyes flicking from him to Kalail and slowly back again.

[Nen Lev'i]

My eyes widened with panic. Trust Irridia to snipe her way to the most embarassing thing in the room. I didn't even realise they were still here; and for a moment, I began to fret over where the matching counterpart might have got to.

Yeah. They show up, eat your munchables, then handcuff you to the bed - hopefully eat your munchables, if you're lucky - and then steal your shirt and leave you forced to either lie there until they get back, or bust yourself out.

Fortunately, I had picked up a talent for getting out of handcuffs over the years, so at least I wasn't stuck naked on the bed when those two had shown up - though admittedly, I was a little curious to see what might have happened if I was. Yet another fantasy that I'd probably be stuck wondering about indefinately, knowing my luck.

Somehow, I managed to stop myself from blushing too badly. "I, uh -" I winced. "- those aren't mine," I mumbled, turning away from Irridia as quickly as I could, eyes focussing instead on Kalail, hoping she hadn't set fire to any of my stuff while I wasn't watching.

"So, uh -" I cleared my throat, trying to sound professional, and not too hopeful that the accidental dirty connotations of Irridia's word choice might be true. "Got a proposition, boss?"

[Kalail Rotas]

Half smirking, she slid off the edge of the doorway and sauntered inside Nen's apartment. Mischievous blue eyes took him in as she approached, admiring a bare chest, strong hands and played let's undress the lackey, wondering what was hiding underneath those pants.

"It involves me," her attention strayed to the delicious sight of her lover dangling pink cuffs with intent, "Ri," and eyes went back to Nen as the Vigo pointed a finger between his clavicles and slid downwards, "and you..."

Before she reached the hem of his pants, she spun around, giggled and leaned against the table with hands rounding the edge of it for support. "And a dren ton of explosions after we cart off in millions of jewelry."

She shivered at the thought. Detonating her lovelies was just as good as sex. Heavy lids looked at Nen and the Vigo forced a wink, "Ya in?"

[Nen Lev'i]

I have to admit, up until the mention of explosives, I was about ready to faint, what with the blood pretty much rushing from everywhere in my body to somewhere else, if you know what I'm saying. But of course, as the evidence had been showing lately, I wasn't exactly the boss's type; so obviously, there had to be an actual job involved, somehow.

Still, explosives were good, and the boss always managed to bring the very best kind to the party. Granted, she was pretty posessive about who got to hit the trigger; but the size of the boom made up for it. Most of the time, at least.

And the jewels, of course. Jewels were good. Especially expensive ones that came with the word 'millions' attatched. Those were my favourite kind; particularly when I stood to get a cut of the resale afterwards.

That said though, the information that she's provided was pretty scant on detail, and after the job with Dana had gone so drastically wrong, I was wary of diving into yet another job without knowing a little more of what I was getting into. I had half a mind to cut in Dana - if nothing else, her presence was always a reassuring comfort, and she was one of the few people I really trusted to watch my back - but she had been wounded, and needed time to recover; I couldn't bear the thought of placing her in more peril. Not yet. Not ever, really.

Just me then. I summoned up what confidence I could. "Sounds pretty straight-forward," I replied, carefully. "So what's the catch? If it was just a bang and grab, I'm sure you know pleanty of thugs who charge less than I do. What are we snatching; and why do you need me?"

[Irridia Solensis]

Irridia leaned over the small table, fingers lightly picking through the assorted electronics littered across its surface. She leaned a bit further and finally found the matching handcuff to the one she held at the back of the table, buried under a pile of flimsis. Grinning triumphantly, she carefully cleared a space for herself and perched on the edge. Idly toying with the now -matched pair, she crossed her legs and tilted her head as she gazed at Nen.

"A couple ahv things, sugah. Primarily, we're aftah the Ankarres Sapphire, which we're told a certain collector has come into possession of. Anything else we pick up along the way going in or out is purely icing on the cake. This collector, seems to think he can operate on this planet without paying his respects to us." Ri said worth more than a touch of venom in her voice, her accent fading from her voice just the slightest bit.

"Kal and I want you to come along, of course, because you're the best. Did I forget anything, sweetness?" Ri purred, sea-green eyes coursing slowly over her lover's figure, before giving Nen a very similar, heated look.