Cana'darri Permits

[Kiattaarra Feessaarro]

Kiattaarra Feessaarro, the Pride Mother of the Carshoulis Cluster, tossed a datapad on her bed and burrowed under the covers. "Tell Keerrouurri jI'm not comjing out agajin todajy."

"jYou can tell hjim jyourrrsself."

She groaned at the sound of Keer's voice, but didn't emerge from under the duvet. "jI have been overrr all the data on the ssshjipjyarrrdss ssjince thjiss morrrnjing and jI jussst want to take a nap."

Kia poked her head out, her dark hair wild. "Sssurrreljy jI have that rrrjight."

[Keerrourri Feessaarro]

The Emissary of the Pride Mother had a job draped in subtleties. He served as his mistress's charge d'affaires, her arr'fai, and carried her voice by proxy in her absence. He was powerful and powerless at once. It took a strong will, a sharp mind, and a patient spirit.

"Of courrsse jyou have the rrjight."

A nod of his head, then raised just so to allow him to see her again.

"But jit jiss wjisse to rrememberr jyourr rressponssjibjiljitjiess asss Hjigh Motherr. How jyou arre sseen bjy jyourr people becomess how jyou wjill be rrememberred bjy them."

Still, a change of tact was wise. Kia had taken to issues of the military with intriguing eagerness, but she was now in the weeds, ensnared by her own unconscious micromanagement. It was difficult for a leader to learn to let go, and to trust the network they controlled. She needed to as well.

Sitting on the bed, Keerrourri picked up the datapad she was reading, saved her place, and switched the device off.

[Kiattaarra Feessaarro]

She sat up, leaning her head on her knees as she wrapped her arms around them. "The prrijesstessssess arre telljing me that next week jiss ijdeal forrr brreedjing." Kia sighed and closed her green eyes. "jI haven't even been to ssee the maless that have been pjicked out forrr me jyet."

She looked across the calanic silk bedding at the datapad that lay there, powered down. "jI do wonderr whjy we cannot ssjimpljy sstarrt prrroducjing morrre sshjipss. We want to. We have the sshjipjyarrrdss, and the meanss." She scooted down on the mattress and flopped back on the pillows. "jIf we move sssome crrredjitss arround jin the budget we could be prrroducjing at leasst anotherrr Korri-class galleon a month."

[Keerrourri Feessaarro]

To this, Sarrtarroa was amenable. He nodded his head in affirmation.

"We could. jIt would be wjisse, jif we do, to make ssurre the barronesss oljigarrchss arre ssupporrtjive. jIt wouldn't be a sstrretch to make them ssee the monejy that could be made off a sstrongerr trrade forrce."

He had a feeling this was just the beginning of Kia's latent desires. He had to wonder if there was something that went hand-in-hand with the urge to rear cubs and the urge to build ships.

"Of courrsse, jif we want to sstep forrwarrd on the galactjic sstage, jI would alsso ssuggesst jinvesstjing jin new technologjy and new dessjignss."

It wasn't a casual suggestion. The Emissary was well prepared to give his mistress options.

[Kiattaarra Feessaarro]

She resisted, just barely, the urge to throw the covers up over her head and pretend he wasn't there. Look at these figures. Smile nicely at these old crones, they're the matriarchs of Fey'dann. Have some cubs, it's expected of you.

Keer was always there, courteous and helpful, and holding the keys to her kingdom. He was too smart by half, and she felt as dumb as a herd animal next to him. And as trapped as a sajoi in a bowl by the royal palace.

Cubs! She didn't want cubs! But by Saanjarra she was going to have them. Kia balled her hands up in the covers and screamed at the very far away fifteen foot ceilings.

[Keerrourri Feessaarro]

He was in danger of losing her. He wasn't oblivious to the warning signs. Easing off, he took a seat next to her.

"Kiattaarra."

One of the few in her court who could address her by the familiar, Keerrourri nevertheless reserved that for special circumstances. Informally, he preferred rrou'fai, to still afford her an honorific. However, it was a part of his station to be closer to the High Mother than anyone else, and he chose his moments carefully.

"jYou have had a djiffjicult week. One jyou have sspent jyourr entjirre ljife prreparrjing forr."

He looked at her.

"What burrdenss jyou?"

[Kiattaarra Feessaarro]

"Everrrjythjing!" She grabbed a tiny decorative pillow and threw it at Keer, missing spectacularly. A part of her remembered his warning about others seeing her break down, and her ears went back as she propped herself up on an elbow and looked around. Her bedchamber was empty.

She refused to move into the Pride Mother's apartment. They were her mother's rooms, and the bed was the one she'd died in. Even if they gutted the rooms and remodeled the entire space Kia was sure she'd still be able to smell ... death. She sat up and hugged her knees, a strap of her thin tank top falling down from her shoulder.

"jI apologjize," she said stiffly. "jI know jit jiss mjy dutjy to... rrrajissse an hejirrr, jI jussst djid not jimagjine jit would be rrrequjirrred of me ssso qujickljy. Orrr that... bejing Prrrjide Motherrr would be qujite ssso loneljy."

Kia leaned toward him, resting against his side, her face against her knees.

[Keerrourri Feessaarro]

There was more wisdom in that observation than she probably realized.

"No one elsse sseess thjiss parrt. Thejy onljy ssee the wealth and powerr that jyou wjield. Eassjy to envjy, and eassjy to mjissunderrsstand."

Keerrourri looked at his mistress at her most vulnerable.

"jYourr ljine jiss ssacrred, Kiattaarra. jYourr motherr, herr motherr, herr motherr'ss motherr, and on forr a thoussand jyearrss. But each ssuccesssjion hass the powerr to make orr to brreak that legacjy. What wjill become of jyourr natjion jif jyou arre losst?"

[Kiattaarra Feessaarro]

She grumped, "That horrrrjible prrrjiesstessss would become Prrrjide Motherrr, jI thjink. Motherrr djidn't leave anjy otherrr hejirrrss, sso jit'ss all on me."

Kia could almost feel the weight of all the expectations and needs of her people weighing her down. "jIt jissn't fajirr. jI cannot possssjibljy be perrrfect."

[Keerrourri Feessaarro]

Sarrtarroa didn't say anything at first. Eventually, he broke silence, addressing her second point of contention.

"No, jyou can't. But jyou musst know when to appearr that jyou arre. The perrceptjion of otherrss becomess thejirr rrealjitjy."

He'd seen the same look on her mother's face all too many times, and knew the secret burdens of High Mothers from experience.

"Herre, jit'ss ssafe to be who jyou arre. But don't become too comforrtable wjith desspajirr."

[Kiattaarra Feessaarro]

She stewed silently at his side, a huddled lump tucked against his arm, her hair obscuring her face. The stress was getting to her, she knew. Even sex was becoming a chore rather than a pleasure, and with her scheduled trip to the manservants that had been chosen for her coming up that didn't seem like it was about to change any time soon.

Was this how her mother had felt? The strongest memories she had of Kaarrataani were the most recent, of her languishing in pain while her advisers and the Emissary hovered about. Signing things. Snapping orders at her underlings, which was basically everyone. She never had time to talk to Kia, and at the end she hadn't had the strength.

"How wass jit -" she started, and then stopped. Her voice was small. "How wass jit wjith motherr... at the end?"

[Keerrourri Feessaarro]

Keerrourri's ears dipped slightly as he considered her question.

"Kaarrataani, sshe wass weak jin bodjy but sstrrong jin mjind. Herr lasst few dajyss, sshe sspent orrderrjing edjictss to the oljigarrchss. Sshe knew herr tjime wass comjing ssoon, but sshe wassn't content to wajit forr the end."

He paused, no longer looking at his mistress.

"jI told herr jit would be wjisse to sspend ssome tjime wjith jyou. Sshe...decljined."

At last he turned to see her face, and her reaction to that news.

"Perrhapss sshe wanted jyourr perrceptjion to be jyourr rrealjitjy asss well. To rrememberr herr asss sstrrong, sso jyou too would rrememberr to be sstrrong."

A small shake of his head, and the Emissary continued.

"Afterr that, when the djisseasse rrobbed herr of herr mjind, sshe wass therre and jyet not therre. But that djidn't lasst forr long. Herr mjind wass herr lasst basstjion."

[Kiattaarra Feessaarro]

"That jiss not mjy lassst memorrrjy of herrr," said Kiattaarra. "jI came bjy everrrjy dajy, whjile ssshe wasss sssleepjing and therrre wasss no one elssse who could make me leave. And at the end, when ssshe wass to farr gone to rrrealjize jI wasss therrre."

She hesitated. "Not at the verrrrjy end. Everrrjyone forrrgot about me untjil afterrr ssshe passsed and then jI wasss prrractjicalljy drrragged out of bed to prrractjice a ssspeech that ssomeone wrrrote forrr me to 'eassse the trrransssjitjion.'" Kia punctuated her sentence with gestured quotes, her fingers stabbing at the air.

"And jyou - jyou mussst thjink jI am the mossst rai'raa sha'shaa jyou've everrr ssseen - no, jyou don't have to anssswerrr that, jI'm not gojing to thrrrow jyou jin the pjitss." She lifted her head, furiously wiping at some suspect dampness on her cheek. "Sso. Perrrceptjion jiss rrrealjitjy. The prrrjiesstessss thjink jI am sha'shaa. How can jI convjince them otherrrwjissse?"

[Keerrourri Feessaarro]

He smiled at that thought. She was wrong, of course. Her mother's own anxieties mirrored Kia's close enough. But when it's happening to you, its natural to believe that you're alone.

As to the second part, it was a discussion Sarrtarroa was eager to have. The priestesses of Sanjarra were a thorn in the side of every Mother and her house. They were a necessary evil. They validated the right to rule, but they in turn poisoned the sovereignity the High Mother ought to have outright. They, along with the baroness oligarghy, formed informal checks on what was outwardly an absolutionist monarchy. No Mother could truly rule on decree without some tacit support from both, or at very least wholehearted support of one.

"Therre arre prrocedurres to usse herre to gjive jyou ssome tjime to conduct the sstatjion of jyourr offjice jin a mannerr morre to jyourr ljikjing, but jyou musst be carreful not to make jyourr jintent naked forr all to ssee."

The Emissary's station was often to handle the mechanics of such subtleties, but it was the High Mother's duty to understand what tricks she had at her disposal.

"jYourr motherr wass a grreat leaderr and a tesstament to the prrowesss of herr people, no? Whjy not call a kuurrai'naal forr herr legacjy? Fesstjivalss and eventss to celebrrate the prrossperrjitjy sshe brrought about, carrrjyjing uss out frrom the sshadowss of defeat and to ourr tjime jin the ssun agajin...sso to sspeak?"

Spin. You didn't become the gatekeeper to the High Mother by actually believing in the state religion. It was means of control, and even the priestesses were bound to the rules, and the exceptions, of it.

[Kiattaarra Feessaarro]

"A kuurrai'naal?" Kia pursed her lips. "jI can ssee how the tataur'aasa'saanja would ljike that." Festivals and events indeed. More like thinly veiled worship ceremonies for Saanjarra, in the name of her dead mother. And if Kia participated it would no doubt be in a public fashion that would rob the acts of their pleasure. Still, it would make the priestesses happy. She sighed.

"Make jit ssso. They wjill be too bussjy rrrecjievjing the attentjionsss of thejirr devoted to botherrr me. Hopefulljy?" She looked up at Keer, for confirmation she'd read his suggestion correctly.

[Keerrourri Feessaarro]

He gave a knowing smile. Again, it was all in pretext. If you could explain away your decisions in public, then they were sacrosanct.

"And of courrsse, jit would be underrsstandable jif jyourr tjime durrjing the fesstjivalss wass occuppjied bjy...matterrss of sstate. jYou honorr jyourr motherr bjy leadjing jyourr people, thuss gjivjing jyou tjime to tend to larrgerr matterrss."

In other words, leave pomp and procedure to the priestesses. They had both said goodbye in their own way. There was nothing gained in dwelling in that moment themselves.

[Kiattaarra Feessaarro]

Her ears drooped a little. Matters of state didn't sound all that great either, all things considered. "jI underrrsstand."

It was a good suggestion, and one he'd obviously thought out. Kia narrowed her eyes a bit, but didn't feel like trying to posture and put him in his place. It wasn't worth it. But she would have to be careful - as careful as he was in public to appear as her voice and not the one feeding her the lines.

It wouldn't do for him to usurp all her power while she languished and pouted. But for today languishing in bed and pouting seemed like a great idea. "jI ssupposse that jyou have jideasss asss to what affajirrss of sstate jI mjight be prrreoccupjied wjith?" She sat up a bit. "The ssshjipjyarrrdss? jI wass thjinkjing that we need a ssmallerrr, morrre manueverrrable sstarrfjighterrr. The Keerta arrre good, but sssmugglerrrs and the ljike sseem to sstjill be able to evade ourrr ssshjipss jif thejy arrre fassst enough."

[Keerrourri Feessaarro]

His eyes seemed to brighten at her commentary. This wasn't a leader being spoon-fed reports by the appropriate undersecretary. Kia was actively pouring her time into studying military doctrine, and apparently without the prompting of a tutor. Seeing the spark of her initiative pleased the Emissary.

"jYou've sstudjied fjighterr combat doctrrjine? Verrjy good, Hjighnesss. jYou know exactljy of ourr ljimjitatjionss."

He considered a thought, turning away slightly, and then just as soon, faced her again.

"We have ssomethjing, a plan, forr exactljy what jyou ssuggesst. Therre'ss been no jinvesstment jin jit. Afterr all, we'rre at peace, and no one sseess prrofjit jin jit. But of courrsse, thesse thjingss change, don't thejy?"

[Kiattaarra Feessaarro]

She breathed out noisily through her nose. "jYet jif we arrre to ...open a djialogue wjith the Alljiance, or even jussst trrrade morrre openljy wjith them, we majy be at warrr sssoon enough. jI know, jI know, jif we arrre carrreful jit ssshouldn't come to that.

"No harrrm jin prrreparrjing. Ourrr fleet hassn't been upgrrraded jin jyearrrs. A terrrrjible overrrsssjight." Kia yawned. "jI'm hungrrrjy."

[Keerrourri Feessaarro]

Perhaps food would push her past this bout of ennui, or perhaps it would bury her within it. Keerrourri wagered on the former, on account of her youth. A tap of his wristcomm, and it was done. While formal meals often revolved around a communal feast at a large kill, Cizerack aristocrats were masters of casual browsing. Morsels live and fresh alike were ready at a moment's notice, and a chamber servant wheeled in a multi-tiered silver cart with over three dozen different offerings for the Mistress to choose from.

Keerrourri watched her browse over the selection, and seized upon something she mentioned.

"About the Alljiance. Perrhapss therre jiss a wajy to sseek them out wjithout appearrjing to sseek them out, no?"