Kuat.
At an undisclosed location.
Shit.
I just disclosed some of that.
Now I have to kill you.
The Imperial stance on torture is a lot like my stance on banging models. Yes please! That said, my stance on torture is not so enthusiastic. For one, there's a lot of screaming and uncontrolled urination. The urine part is usually ok if you keep a good supply of cheap towels on your little torture cart thing. The screaming is really really annoying. Because you can't just slap on some headphones and tunes to drown it out. You told the poor bastard (or bastardess, I've tortured women before true story. Wait shit, is bastardess a word? It is now.)
Anyway, you told the torturee that they were going to talk. Not only is it rude to miss that delicious secret-spilling talking when you're jamming to Hot Plasma Overload and pretending you're wake-boarding on Glee Anselm, but it's embarassing when you have to ask them to repeat what they said, and they can't, because they're choking on their own vomit now. So it's screaming. All day. All night. "Nooooooooooo!!!! AAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!! My genitaaaals!!!" And then some spluttering coughing and crying and look, it's awkward and grating. Also I have to wear a cheap suit when I torture people, because I just can't afford to risk the dry cleaning turning out a real mess if something goes wrong.
"Mister Uktol..."
I lit a stim for effect, drawing on it slowly. True story, I don't smoke. Normally. But it's great for torture. Also it does kind of cover for the smell of defecation. Did I mention defecation? Yeah there's a lot.
"...we know what you're planning. We've already caught your conspirators. Soon they'll be telling us everything. If that happens, I can't stop the stormtroopers from putting a blaster bolt in your, uh, head, thing."
What the fuck do Ithorians call a head? Because that doesn't look like a head, it looks like a chair. Chair head.
"So, the sooner you tell me about the Rebel attack you're planning, the sooner I make the call to set you free. Neither of us want me to get what's in this cart out."
The Ithorian began to speak in that weirdo double voice stereo thing. Oh what's that? You're not Mr. Uktol? Oh that's rich. "Oh gee, I caught the wrong guy! Boy howdy that happens all the time!" Well the right guy is sure gonna be glad he won't be fed his pulped-up busted toes one by one.
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